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But what if the prospect of starting a conversation leaves you feeling weaker at the knees than a jellyfish on stilts? But the fact remains that when you're relaxed and confident, you'll transmit that comfort to the person(s) with whom you're communicating.
Fear, especially unnecessary fear, blocks opportunity. If you've always tended to wait until new people start chatting to you, then it may feel overwhelming to reverse that habit. Well, often they fear saying the 'wrong thing', but what does that mean?
Although its subscription based, How About We let’s you be in charge by choosing the type of date you want to go on.Skout is one of the largest online dating platforms with over 5 million users.Skout’s “Meet Me” feature allows users to flip through and see who’s nearby and ready to hook up.Research shows people will likely want to talk to you if you are smiling. Keep it going by asking open questions that require more than a yes/no answer. "Stranger: "Yes..."You: "That's cool...really....." [nervously look at watch]Hopefully, they'll say more than just 'yes'; but just to make sure, ask them a question that opens up the conversation: You: "Jenny chose this place tonight; I really love this bar. "Unless they're totally closed to conversation (in which case, move on; you deserve better), they'll give you a much more detailed response than a yes or no. Imagine watching a James Bond movie that showed our suave super-spy being put on hold for half an hour whilst trying to phone someone at his bank, followed by an hour's shopping in the high street. We don't want all the mundane detail; we want to see the good bits.Don't grin manically at people like a prom queen on acid, but a gentle general smile will instantly make the prospect of talking to you more appealing. "Initiating a conversation doesn't mean carrying the whole thing. If I approach someone socially, I don't wonder what I'm going to talk about; I'm curious about what they're going to talk about. Being a great conversationalist is as much about leaving out stuff; as much exclusion as inclusion. Instead, ask yourself, "What does this person need to know?
"To which a pedantic (and annoyingly bright) seven-year-old might reply: "What, never! "Shyness may have gotten you into the habit of always waiting for the other person to start the conversation. Actually, it's not so much what you say - within reason - but how you come across when you're saying it.